Why do I even bother befriending a girl and spending 6-12 months making myself her go to guy friend, the only guy that she can count on, when I know I will just find out that one day she’s decided to get knocked up by her idiot ex that she hates? Being Drew’s friend is the worst form of birth control (while actually being Drew seems to be the best form of birth control… sex,...
Yo Assassin's Creed 2! I beat you.
Next up is your boy Brotherhood. Bam!!!
I'm Tired of Placeists.
We’ve heard of Racists and Ageists, what about Placeists? The people that choose to judge a place without seeing it, or with baseless stereotyping. “I don’t want to take this summer job that pays really well in Lawerence, KS, because I think Kansas probably sucks because I’ve never been there or heard anything about it that I can remember.” We’ve all heard that...
I want to kiss all of the coolest girls.
christinadear: drewmasters: All of them. Then run away and cry in realization that they didn’t want to be kissed by me. Drew, you are a poop head. …and I mean that in the most affectionate way possible. Any girl who was actually ‘the coolest’ would be delighted to be kissed by you! And if not, then she’s super lame and not cool at all and you should give me her phone number so I can call...
I want to kiss all of the coolest girls.
All of them. Then run away and cry in realization that they didn’t want to be kissed by me.
We all need a little more salted meats in our lives.
Some would say that I dodged a bullet, some would say she caught a bullet… Now it’s confirmed, that she was hit with a gold and diamond bullet, and he was hit with a girl who has no reason to keep “it” up.
christinadear replied to your post: 27… fml. I think you mean to say, “Twenty-seven! Yay!” Maybe… After 25, birthdays just feel awful. Especially when you haven’t accomplished anything. It’s all very melodramatic. It’s a strong tea of melodrama. You’ll never be here, cause you will accomplish many things, but birthdays still suck.
… are not magical. They have no powers. Get over it.
All guys, even nice ones, have the “I want to bend you over the table and fuck you good” thoughts. The difference is that nice guys choose not to vocalize their pervy creeptitude, and assholes/creeps/losers/winners over voice their wildest creepy thoughts. I guess that’s the main difference between non-homicidal nice guys and non-homicidal asshole/creep/loser/winner guys.
One day you will regret this.
cassygolightly asked: Drew Masters gives the best life advice.
I’m currently inside you. Love, Drew Masters.
Yeah, you don't want to go to see doctors when...
New knowledge is not as good as old knowledge. It’s not like we’ve learned anything in the last 500 years, we’ll just cure people with herbs and good time happy feelings. Doctors don’t know anything, I went to school for the same amount of time as most doctors and I don’t know shit, thus they don’t know shit. Fuck medicine and science and doctors and vaccines...
kid just texted me.
christinadear: ifallforgeeks: “gary, i talked to you at the village on wed night, whats up” SORRY, GARY I DON’T REMEMBER YOU. i need to stop giving out my number when i’m black-out drunk. My favorite is this one time when I woke up with text messages in my phone from someone named Yale Kid. Umm, I appreciate your effort, Christina, but it’d be nice if you could have at least gotten a...
That palindrome thing made me annoyed, I’m gonna go fire lightning out of my fingers and shoot mind missiles at people.
"No Failure", bullshit... "Know Failure"
It’s ok for some groups to not be able to accept failure as an acceptable option. The opposite is true for artists. We need to fail multiple times, preferably hundreds or thousands of times. Failure is how you become better at your art. It’s how you become acceptable. If you think you’re awesome from your first work, you might be lost. Work, allow yourself to fail, fail, be...
I Wish All Guys Were Like You...
A word of caution to all the ladies out there: This is a horrible, awful, terrible and mean thing to say to a guy. It seems nice, you are telling a guy how nice he is and you want to express that. It’s not nice. You’re basically saying, “I wish the guys that I actually want to date and/or fuck were nice like you but not hideous in the ways that you are hideous and disgusting to...
I cracked the code. It’s like the end of The Matrix, and I’m Neo… I can see everything in binary and shit… it’s crazy.
Not attractive to me… On anyone…
I always wished you (x^2+(y-(x^2)^(1/3))^2 = 1)ed me. I think our time has passed.
Statikz (featuring J. Arthur Keenes): Let’s...
I'm a geek.
2d10 + Comics modifier (+10 unfuckable damage every turn)…